Shiny Metal Tiger

Experiences in Baltimore, MD


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This Saturday saw 5 hours of 8 vs. 8 paintball action, in the various fields of Robin Hood paintball.

We’d gotten some cheap tickets via Groupon, so in the end the 5 hours (including gun, air, mask) and tonnes of extra bullets only amounted to about 30$. As always, it was a lot of fun, and very painful. Vendettas were spawned from repeated kills (or fouls) by the same person, curses were spewed when the paintballs hit your hand or butt, bruises were created all over, and every once in a while there was a yell of triumph as the last enemy went down.

Semper Phi

Guidelines for successful paintballing:

  • If you’re in the open, you’re probably about to die.
  • If you stay in the same spot for a long time, someone will sneak behind you and pepper your back.
  • If your wingman goes down, you’re probably going to get pinned and subsequently killed.
  • If you know where the enemy is, and they don’t know where you are, you’re about to take them out.
  • Suicidal charges work ~50% of the time, and hurt 100% of the time.

Normally you die if a ball hits you and breaks, but the last few rounds we played “No Mercy”, where you’re not out until you surrender. So, as Rocky Balboa told us, it’s not about how hard you can hit, but about how hard a hit you can take and keep going. The very end was extremely fun; down to me and a friend, tossing bullets at each other from behind cover. He manages to flank me, and shoots up my butt and thigh as I relocate. Those shots were like the agony of the nine hells, so I dived behind a pipe and for 5 seconds just lay there, fighting the pain. Get up and run to the next piece of cover, BAM! I get hit in the back of the head. He said he thought I was out for sure then, but I toughed it out and kept going. At this point I spot the other guy without being seen, and manage to sneak up behind him, and absolutely hammer his back (his bruises were abundant). At this point he’s running away, I’m running after him trying to get more shots in, and then we each end up behind cover again. Few more shots and he’s out of bullets… but I played it nice and didn’t unload the rest of my shots on his defenseless form. I’m such a good person.


Written by Martin

2010/04/20 at 16:49

Posted in Uncategorized

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